My heart is breaking tonight from the passing of a child I have watched grow and thrive over the past three years. A child– a baby, really– how do you even process that kind of loss? There is nothing in the world that can jolt you quicker back into the reality that we’re mortal, with limited days to laugh, love, and hug the people we care about.
In a few days, I’m flying over a thousand miles south to spend a few hours with someone that I’ve grown quite fond of over the past few months. I’ll get a mere six hours (if I’m lucky) eating veggie burgers and walking on a beach with this person. To tell you the truth, it has caused me a great deal of anxiety over the past few days, as my mind overflowed with fears, doubts, and insecurities.
Is it overkill? Too much pressure?
What if it doesn’t turn out how you want?
So I distilled it down. What do I want?
I want to live in the moment.
I want to really feel that I’m not going to live forever– and be brave enough to let that be okay, if only for a moment.
I want to let things be what I know they are: sweet, comfortable, nurturing.
I want to accept the invitation, with no strings attached and no expectations beyond six hours of laughter, love, and hugs.
I want to not get caught up in overcomplicating the simplicity of wanting.
I want to take chances and risks.
And I am.
My friend Greg did a TED talk a few years ago about how we all have a limited amount of seconds to be alive, but that we have the ability to make every second count by living with passion and creativity. “Passion”, he says, “is the sense that we want to engage fully and embrace the abundance that life has to offer.”
It’s a lesson that I forget and relearn, forget and relearn. My life is mundane more often than I like to admit. But I want to live with passion. Those six hours on the beach this weekend?– they will be fleeting. But they will be six fleeting hours of engaging fully and embracing the abundance that life has to offer.
What are you going to do with your limited time on this Earth?